|
Q - What is self esteem?
A - Self esteem encompasses the many aspects
that
create the picture one has of oneself. Included are one’s
pride.
confidence, self assurance, respect--how one feels about oneself in the
world.
There is no scientific definition of self
esteem.
Studies show that low self esteem leads to poor life outcomes riddled
with social and economic problems. Some studies correlate low self
esteem with the ills of society while other studies show that self
esteem levels are irrelevant to individual and societal problems.
My personal take reflects what I observed
while
working on my doctorate in psychology when I saw one set of data used
by two sets of researchers to confirm theories that were completely
opposite one another.
Q - What effects self esteem?
A - Since self esteem is a composite picture
of
how one feels about oneself. Anything that affects any single aspect of
how one is and feels affects self esteem across the board. Someone with
high self esteem feels good about himself. Even in difficult
circumstances. Such a person knows the circumstances are just the
circumstances and he will make it through, no mater what because he can
rely on himself and the support of others to get him through anything.
It is a knowing, a knowing that all is well in the end no matter how
dismal it looks in the moment.
Q - Do other people affect
one’s self esteem?
A - Yes and no. Others can only affect how
one
feels about oneself if one allows what others say or do to affect them.
Self esteem comes from within and is maintained and sustained inside a
person once established. While it is created in one’s
environment
of people it is only sustained with one’s permission. That
point
explains why siblings living in the same house with the same people can
be so different in their outlook and self esteem levels.
Q - Are there techniques to improve
self esteem?
A - Techniques or quick fixes are not
permanent.
They are like band-aids. Only deep change can improve self esteem, a
change in who one is and how one is being in life. I am not talking
about what one does. Doing is NOT being and must be separate for an
individual to feel and live with high self esteem. Everyone makes
mistakes. It is never about what we do but who we are in the face of
circumstances. Life style changes affect self esteem.
Q - Can positive thinking improve
self esteem?
A - Positive thinking can only improve self
esteem
if the thoughts are held in the subconscious mind as truths. Otherwise
they will wreak havoc with one’s attempts to change for the
better. One can say one is great and act as if one is highly successful
But if the subconscious mind says one is a loser then no matter how
much re-programming is done there will be no change for the better
other than a possible temporary acting.
Q - Does communication make a
difference in my child’s self esteem?
A - Yes, being heard and understood shows
one he
is valued and he has some independence to think and speak as he feels.
It is easy to pretend and hide how we really feel when no one has the
listening skills to hear what is not spoken.
Q - Why is this book different from
all the others?
A - This is my personal experience, not some
theory or second hand information. I actually raised my children using
the life style method disclosed in this book. Techniques are like
diets. They work while you are paying attention to them. When you stop
you go back to your old ways. This work is about changing who a person
is being in life. Certain people act certain ways. People with high
self esteem act certain ways. It is not about the things they do as
much as it is about who they are being. It is what people do not know
they do not know that keeps them stuck in unhappiness. This book shows
how to uncover those secrets and become free.
|
